Monday, January 31, 2011


I am in heaven, yes in heaven.  We have had 3 days of sunshine.   I love it.   It is colder, than cold but I love the sun.   I opened all the drapes and let the rays come in.   Did I say I loved it.  I can feel all the endorphins running through my body.   I felt so good, I opened the door to my craft room and started to put it back into order.   Man do I have a lot of fabric, scrapbook material and beads.   After my Christmas projects, the place looked like a whirlwind hit it.   It's starting to look better.   I think by tomorrow it should be back in shape. 

Hope everyone had a wonderful day and tomorrow will be a better one.  

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Am I Grateful

I read a post today, that made me stop and think.   I have been blaming my depression on SAD but I have come to conclusion that I can't blame all my down moods on it.   I am to blame from most of my depression.  I have been so locked up in my misery that I have not seen the things that Lord has done for me.   I have been blinded to blessings He has been pouring upon me and my family.   I have been a slothful servant.   I have taken my talents and have hidden them and not used them for good.   I have been very ungrateful for the things I have.  

I am a very blessed individual.   I have a Heavenly Father that loves me not matter what I have done.   He is there for me.  He hears my cries.   I want to thank Him.   I am grateful that I am alive.  I have the things that I need to survive.   I have the comforts that others do not. I am grateful.   I have a family that is always there for each other.   We know that if we need help, all we have to do is ask.   I am grateful.   There is beauty all around, even on the dreary days, all I have to do is look for it.   I need to use the eyes, that the Lord has given me, to see the good in a day.  Not the bad.   I am grateful. 

My favorite song is "Come Thou Font".  The verse I love the most is:

Here I raise my Ebenezer;
Hither by Thy help I’ve come;
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here's my heart, O take and seal it;
Seal it for Thy courts above.

I have a tendency to wander, to stray from those things I love.  I wallow in misery, thinking all is lost but I know that my heart and soul have been given to the Lord.  No matter how far I wander, I know that Father is there waiting for my return with open arms.    For that  I AM GRATEFUL.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Beautiful Day

It's a beautiful day.  The sun is shinning and I love it.   It's cold but I bundled up, went out and soaked up some sun rays.   I have light deprivation, so any I chance I get to soak up rays I do.  Doesn't matter if it's below zero, there I am out on the deck, face towards the sun.  I sure the neighbors think I just a little off but I don't really care.   I got the camera out and took pictures.  I am beginner photographer.  So mine are the point an shoot. I want to lean more about photography though.  I have signed up for a community education class for photography that starts next month.  I can't wait.  I love taking pictures.

I finished my very first nine patch block.   I had to pick it out several times to get the seams to match up.  I think it turned out very lovely for a first timer.   My mother-in-law is teaching me to make blocks for a quilt.  I have mentioned before that she has won several grand champion ribbons at our state fair for her quilts.  It would be a waste not to gleam from her knowledge.  I find it quite relaxing picking out colors and patterns (also picking out seam).  I think I am going to enjoy it.  

Sunday, January 23, 2011

My Kids

Beautiful Bella.   She loves being outside

Yancy guarding his food bowl.   He just had surgery and wanted to be fed.

Pete wanting attention.  He's my lover boy.
Pete loves his bed.  Upside down and all.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

It's That Time of The Year

Yes, it's that time of the year, when that baby calves start being borne.  I love baby calves.  In fact I love cows.  I know, they are smelly and not very cute but I have always been fascinated with them.  Don't know why.  When I was younger, my family had two cows, Melissa and Patches.  You could call Melissa's name and she would amble over to where you were to get her head scratched.   She was the family pet. 

I love to watch baby calves as they play.  The run around the pasture, with their tails in the air.   Bouncing around, butting their moms, chasing each other, trying to eat hay and then when they tire out, they curl up and take a nap.  They have such cute faces.  Did I tell you I love calves.  Yes I do.

Blue Blue

So I have been in this blue funk the past two days.  I get this way every so often and it's worse during the winter months.  I have decided that I have light deprivation.  These gray cloudy days are depressing.   The sun shined for a few minutes today and I went out on deck and soaked up the sun rays.   My mood started to lift.  Maybe I need to wear a hat with a light on it shinning down on my face.   Now wouldn't that be a sight.   I could be the lady with light hat.  Now that could be a new fashion statement.

I have cut out some quilt blocks to sew.  Going to try my hand at making a quilt.   Ought to be interesting.   I am going to make a scrappy nine patch.   That way I can use up material that my mother and mother-in-law have and not have to buy new material.   Another project to add to my attention deficit disorder crafting.   I am so ADD with my projects.  I start one, get bored and start another one.  Then I get bored with that, start another one.   I just go around in this circle working on these project and never really finishing them.   Oh well, at least it keeps me busy.  It suppose to snow all weekend, good time to stay at home and craft. 


Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Things are Things - Memories are forever

I was watching the show "Hoarders" the other night and the lady on there didn't want to get rid of her junk because of memories.   The social worker told her that things can be destroyed but memories will live on forever.  The show made me stop and think about my house.  I am a hoarder to some extent.  I always called it being a pack rat.  You never know when you might need that thing you are storing.  Sure shoo-ten, as soon as I throw it away, I will need it.   But I keep things because of the memories.  I have several stuff animals that I keep.  A bear that my brother gave to me for Christmas when he was young, a dog that Ed won for me at the fair and others.  I love the memories I have when I look at those things.  The only problem I have now is,  things are starting to take over. 

Do I really need my valuable stuff?   Can I live without it?  Some of the junk will probably never see the light of day again.   I have to move it from one place to another because it is in the way.  I have a room in my basement, that I call my craft room. It is so full of my treasures that I can't enjoy crafting any more.  I step over boxes to get to my sewing machine, I trip over totes that are full memories, and sometimes I walk into the room, look it over and turn around and leave.  The treasures are no longer enjoyable.  They are a problem. 

I have come to the mind set that I can start to get rid of my treasures.   I don't need them to keep the memories alive.  I can record my memories in a journal.  Take pictures and make scrapebook pages.  Then I can lovingly hold my treasures for a few minutes, hours and then pack them up and give them to someone else that need them to start their own memories.  I will always have the warm fuzzy feelings that they bring me.  Letting them go, allows me to move forward and gain new memories.  Things are things.   Memories are forever.

Thursday, January 6, 2011


Today is one of those step backwards days.  It didn't matter what I did today it was wrong.  At least that is what it seemed like to me.  Woke up with a headache.  Dog peed on the floor and I almost stepped in it.  Then one dog decided to puke.  Ran out of cleaner, tried a homemade cleaner I found on the internet, and it made the spot a bigger one.  Everything I did took twice as long to get it done.  The only bright spot of the day was the few hours I spent with my mother-in-law.  She is such a sweet lady.  I love her a lot.  She makes the most beautiful quilts I have ever seen.  I am a proud owner of a few.  She has volunteered to teach me how to put quilt blocks together to make my own quilt.  Hope she has the patience of Job because me and a sewing machine do not speak the same language.  It's all greek to me.

Tomorrow will be a better day.  No more steps backwards for this week.  Have to look forward.  Hopefully the dogs will cooperate.


I have a Pembroke Welsh Corgi whose name is Pete.  Actually I have 3 corgis, but Pete is special.  Pete came to me at time that I needed him.  My dogs are my fur babies.  I had a tri-color corgi whose name was Billy.  Billy died of cancer in 1999.  He was part of our family for 7 years.  When Billy died, I went into a downward spiral. Losing him was like losing a child.  I have a tendency to have depression but his death was very hard on me. I would go down into a hole for days, which I thought I could never climb out of.  Some days I got so I didn't want to get out of bed and go to work.  Being around people was torture.  I was mad at the world and myself.  I should have known that Billy was suffering.  I didn't take care of him like I should.  It was my fault that he died.  I went through all the stages of depression.

We use to have a pet store at the mall where I live.  I would go in every week asking if they had Pembroke corgis.  Usually they didn't. I wanted another dog.  I need another dog.   I got the nickname corgi lady.  One day I went in, asking my usual question, "do you have any corgis".  I expected the usual answer of no but they said "yes we do".  I couldn't believe it.  I asked to hold him.  They took him out of the cage and let me hold him.  They first thing the puppy did was lick my face.  He was so happy to be out of the cage.  I asked how much they wanted for him.  I was floored when they told me $900.  I thought maybe $200 but not $900.  I couldn't afford that.  So I would go in every week to hold him.  After I would hold him, talk to him and get puppy kisses, I could feel the fog lifting.  One week I went in to hold him, to get my fix, and the sales clerk told me that I just needed to buy the dog.  I asked how much, and replied make an offer.  I offered $75 and they took it.  I was so shocked but happy. My husband and I immediately took the puppy to the vet.  When asked what is name was, I took one deep look at him and said, "he looks like a Pete.  His name is Pete".  The vet asked where we bought the dog.  I told him the pet store in the mall.  The vet's eyes got really big and said they have parvo there.  I thought to myself, no he can't have parvo.  I can't lose another dog.  I just found him.  The vet gave him shots and said watch him.  She also told us to go back to the pet store and get medical records from them.   I went the next day to get the info and low and behold the pet store was gone.  They packed up and left the night before.  There was nothing left.  I worried that Pete was going to die.  But he didn't.  Pete has a very gentle soul.  He loves all the attention he can get.  Right from the first he knew when I was heading for downward spiral.  He knew when I needed kisses.  Pete loves to talk.  He has to have the last woof.   I will tell him not to talk back and a few seconds later you will hear this soft woof.

Pete is 11 years old now.  He is getting gray around his muzzle.  He is slowing down.   Last Saturday, I noticed that Pete was having a hard time walking.  His back legs were going in different directions and he had a hard time standing.  He couldn't go up or down the stairs.  I had to carry him outside to go potty.  I felt so bad for him.  I couldn't get him into the vet until Monday.  Sunday was a hard day. Pete couldn't move much.  He would just look at me with his big brown eyes.   I had to think about what I would do if he was paralyzed.  Do I keep him alive, or do I make the decision to put him down.  I agonized over what do I do.  Do I be selfish and keep him alive and suffering because I can't let him go, or do I let him go.  I finally made the decision, that if Pete was going to be in pain and not quality of life, I would let him go.  He didn't deserve to suffer.  Pete seem to understand the turmoil I was going through.  He would put his head on my leg while I petted.  He would look up at me, with this look in his eyes that seem to say, I know you will make the right decision.  I trust you.  I took him to the vet on Monday.  I learned that he has  herniated disks.  The reason he has a problem walking is because the disk is inflamed and the swelling is pushing on the spinal cord.  The vet gave him anti inflammatory medication.  If that doesn't work, then there is surgery.  Pete will never have the full use of his legs, but he will learn to compensate.  According to the vet Pete has a few more years.  If his condition does get worse, I have made peace with the decision to let him go.  Pete was brought in my life when I needed him.   I will always love him.  He is my Peter pants.  My quiet, old man that still loves to give kisses and hugs.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

New At This

I have never blogged before.  I have read quite a few and enjoyed them.  One reason I haven't blogged is, I am not a writer.  It takes me hours to compose a letter.  Can you imagine how long it will take me to write a single blog.  Probably days, but I want to try.  Hopefully I will write something that people will be interested in reading.  Maybe I will find my inner writer.  Today I am taking a step forward.